No mercy · no signup · works on anyone
Roast my
LinkedIn
Paste a profile — yours or your competitor's. We read their posts, rank them against thousands of creators, and write the burn they've been asking for.
Free. Brutal. Your competitor will never know it was you.
How it works
Paste a public profile
Any
linkedin.com/in/…URL. Yours, or the competitor whose posts keep showing up in your feed. Nothing to install and nobody to log in as.We read the numbers
The headline, the follower count, how often that profile has posted lately, the engagement those posts earned, and the rate behind it. Real figures, not vibes.
You get the burn
A short, specific write-up built from those numbers, the profile’s place on the creator ranking, and a card you can share or quietly keep to yourself.
Why the burn usually lands
Most LinkedIn feedback is either flattery from your own network or a generic “post more consistently”. Neither tells you anything. This one starts from what the profile actually did: the gap between follower count and engagement, the week-long silences between posts, the headline that claims thought leadership while the numbers claim otherwise. That is also why it stings — the material is your own posting history.
The same data powers two things worth reading next: the public LinkedIn creator ranking, where thousands of profiles are scored and ordered, and the State of LinkedIn report, which is what those numbers look like across the whole tracked set. If you would rather be measured than mocked, the free LinkedIn GTM audit scores your motion instead of your ego.
Questions people ask before pasting
Is the LinkedIn roast actually free?
Yes. No signup, no card, no email gate. There is a daily cap on brand-new roasts so the queue stays fast; when it is used up the page says so and the counter resets at midnight UTC. Profiles that have already been roasted still open instantly.
Can I roast someone who isn’t me?
Yes. Any public LinkedIn profile URL works — a competitor, a prospect, the person who ends every post with “agree?”. They are not notified, and the roast never says who asked for it.
What does the roast actually read?
The profile’s headline and title, its follower count, how many times it posted recently, the engagement those posts earned, and the average engagement rate behind them. The roast is written from those numbers, which is why it lands differently for a daily poster than for someone who last posted in 2023.
How long does a roast take?
A profile that has been scored before comes back in seconds. A brand-new one has to be fetched and scored first, which takes a minute or two; the page keeps polling and shows the roast the moment it is ready, so there is nothing to click or refresh.
Where does the rank number come from?
The same leaderboard behind the public GTM Brigade creator ranking, where thousands of tracked LinkedIn profiles are scored and ordered. The roast shows where the profile you pasted lands in that list.
Is my roast public? Will it show up in Google?
Every roast gets its own link you can share, and those pages carry a noindex tag, so they stay out of search results. Nothing is published unless you send the link yourself.